


Sanders Sides Fake Dating AUs

by NekoAbi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: 1 of each of the others, 3 Logince fics in here, Implied homophobia, M/M, Mention of possible death, Mention of serious illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAbi/pseuds/NekoAbi
Summary: All short prompt fills I did on tumblr.Prompt listed before the chapter.





	1. Logince (1)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m your assistant and you just informed me that your entire family thinks we’re dating and you don’t want to let them down

“Logan! Come in here!”

The man in question let out a heavy sigh. He pushed his chair away from the desk, picked up his tablet and stepped through into the next room.

“Yes, sir?”

“Ah, I do love that you are so quick to listen to me!” Logan’s overly eccentric and – sadly – disgustingly wealthy boss, Roman Hawthorne, turned in his large chair to face him, with a wide grin and eyes that just screamed an underlying motive.

Logan fought to not roll his eyes, “I was hired to assist you, sir. It would be going against my job to not cater to your needs.”

“Of course! And I do need something from you.” Roman stood from his chair with a dramatic sigh, pushing a hand through his hair in what seemed to be an attempt at showing Logan all of his facial expression – which in itself was far too theatrical to be real, but Logan bit his tongue and allowed the man who paid him to speak. “You see, I was visiting family a week ago. Just my grandparents on my mother’s side, just a casual visit to the resort, of course.”

_‘I was there, you brat.’_  Logan internalised. He decided to clock out of the conversation, pretending to take notes on his tablet whilst the man in front of him babbled off information he was already aware of. As Roman’s assistant, Logan was tasked with following the man everywhere he went, helping him with anything he needed. It wasn’t exactly a glamorous job, but it paid extremely well and let him use his talents in organization to help the man. If he was willing to swallow his pride for a moment, Logan would have noted that the fact Roman was conventionally attractive at least softened the frustration every now and then, but he would never.

“-And so, you’re my boyfriend and my date.”

“What?!” Logan almost jumped in surprise, his voice reaching a pitch he wasn’t even aware his voice could reach.

Roman stopped and stared at his assistant, blinking a couple of times in the silence before coming in close, “You weren’t paying attention to me again…”

Logan had no response.

Roman once again put on his dramatics and sighed wistfully, “I guess we’ll have to work on that…”

He then recounted his previous tale of how, after several interactions between the two, Roman’s family were referring to Logan as his ‘partner’ and asked what the two of them were planning to wear to their wedding anniversary party they were throwing soon.

“You see? I cannot bear to let the two of them down, as they’re likely to pass sometime soon due to their frail, weak bodies in their old age.” Roman reasoned with passion, tears welling behind his eyes as he grasped a hold of Logan’s free hand, “That is why you will be my boyfriend and date. All for them! Oh, and they may have also told our entire family and they’re extremely excited as well.” Roman added his final statement dismissively, as if it were no big deal.

Logan’s head was swimming, but he managed to keep a hold on himself. “And why should I go along with this ridiculous plan?”

“Oh, come now, Logan! Are you so heartless as to ruin the dreams of an entire family?!” Roman pleaded. When the only response he got from his assistant was his usual stoic face, he sighed, “I guess I was also thinking I would pay you extra for those days, as well as provide everything you’ll need to go to the party alongside me.”

It took only a second for Logan to smile wryly, “Fine.”


	2. Moxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone assumed we’re dating but I didn’t realize that’s what they meant until it was too late and I had committed us to a couples’ retreat weekend

Virgil was a little annoyed right now.

He’d not only been coerced into getting up early by his housemate, but also been dragged out of the house to go wander around the nearby mall in order to look for things for their shared space. And, to add insult to injury, his housemate had gotten distracted by some salesperson trying to pawn some kind of vacation.

Now, here he stood, up against a wall with his phone in his hand, fluorescent lights reflecting off of its surface, alone amongst a sea of strangers.

Virgil groaned as he closed his eyes for a second. He wanted to just fall asleep again, he was so tired.

“Virgil! Virgil!”

The cheery voice of his housemate had him opening his eyes to look around lazily. In a sea of seemingly dull colours, the bright pastels of his housemate stood out and made it so Virgil could easily see him coming. With a sigh of effort, he pushed himself off of the wall so the two of them could begin walking together.

“Oh, thank god you’re finally done, Patton.” Virgil said, pocketing his phone.

Patton grinned brightly, “Sorry, Virge! I didn’t realise I was gone for so long, the man was really really nice!” The odd pair fell easily into step alongside each other.

Virgil glanced to the side at his friend and soon noticed that Patton was reading something in his hands, “What is that?”

“It’s the leaflet the man gave me! Which reminds me!” Patton stopped dead and looked at Virgil with wide eyes, “The man was talking all about this vacation place thing and said that it would be great for the two of us, and I thought it sounded really fun so I put our names in for the draw to go there!” He started to walk on, almost skipping as he did so.

As Patton was speaking, Virgil plucked the leaflet from his housemate’s hand and skim-read the information. He was about to concede that it maybe did sound like a good idea and pass it back to Patton when something stood out to him. His eyes widened, a feeling of dread dripping through his system.

“Hey… Patton?”

“Yeah?”

“You… did realise this was a couple’s retreat… right?”

The two of them were at a standstill. Neither of them moved, except for Patton’s sunny grin which was slowly falling. When Virgil turned the leaflet towards him and pointed out the large title that somehow both of them had missed that proudly proclaimed it was a ‘Romantic Couple’s Getaway Vacation!’, Patton’s face bloomed red with embarrassment.

“I-I didn’t know! I’m so sorry, Virgil!” Patton apologised with his hands clasped together.

“It’s fine, Pat. It was only like a prize draw thing, right? There’s no way that-”

Patton’s phone chimed in the middle of Virgil’s sentence and he turned as white as a sheet when he read the message. Carefully and slowly, he held the phone out for Virgil to take and read. His housemate then similarly paled.

“How the  _fuck-_ ”

“Virgil! Language!” Patton snatched his phone back. After another round of a apologies, he started to theorise on how they could maybe get out of it. He was wracking his brain hard, his eyes shut tight, so he could focus. He stopped mid-ramble as Virgil tapped his shoulder, holding the leaflet out silently. “What…?”

Virgil’s finger was pointed at a very small piece of writing at the very bottom that Patton had to squint to see. His blood ran cold when he read that it was completely non-negotiable to change the winner.

“Uh… well… why let it go to waste?” Patton offered with a weak smile and laugh.


	3. Logince (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our friends set us up on a blind date as a prank because we don’t like each other but neither of us wants to let them win so

Roman stopped dead in his tracks on the approach to the restaurant. His eyes narrowed as he took in the man before him. “Logan.” He said, voice even and calm.

“Roman.” The other man replied similarly. Logan similarly looked displeased as he took in Roman before him.

“Let me guess, here for a date?” Roman sighed, crossing his arms.

“How did you- Oh. I see.” Logan sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance, “I suppose it is  _their_  doing?”

“Yup.”

An awkward silence stretched on between the two men. It was clear as day that the two were not on good terms in the slightest, they best they could do was cordial at best. Logan was about ready to walk away, but a glint of light and rustling from a nearby bush told him everything he needed to know. The slowly simmering anger for his friend pushed Logan to switch plans.

“Perhaps we should… take our space inside?”

Roman looked at him like he was crazy, “Are you insane?! Why in all of the known universes would  _I_  want to-”

Logan pressed his hand to Roman’s mouth, effectively silencing him, “Shut up and just walk inside. They’re watching.” That got Roman’s attention. His eyes blazed with anger for a moment before he nodded.

The two men were quickly seated at a table that was close to the window, in full view of the suspicious bush that had caught Logan’s attention. They spoke in hushed whispers so that there was no way they would possibly be overheard.

“Do you want to let him know that he won?” Logan asked, eyes flicking up from the menu he was pretending to read to catch Roman’s own.

“Of course, I don’t!” Roman hissed, clearly trying to calm his anger. His eyes were looking all around, as if he was trying to find out where the two of their friends were hiding. Logan sighed again and nudged Roman with his foot to get his attention before making an almost imperceptible motion towards the bush.

As soon as Roman had clocked it, he looked as though he was going to rush out the doors and attack so Logan knew he had to provoke the man into working with him, which was thankfully an easy task. “Are you seriously unable of pretending to even slightly enjoy this blind date?” Logan pulled his glasses off of his face, cleaning them as Roman’s fury turned towards him, “Who would have thought that you were incapable of doing your job? I suppose that’s why you’re still working the box office…”

Logan knew he was taking the low hanging fruit, but it was the easiest and quickest way to get Roman to work with him. Almost immediately, Roman was hissing a response towards Logan, “Just watch me.” His demeanour instantly changed as he began to easily play the part he was required to.

Roman was quick to smile at their server, making small talk whenever possible. He smiled and seemed to be attentive to Logan, asking questions that he would normally avoid and giving off the impression he was listening intently. Logan was actually a little surprised by the amount of effort he was getting from Roman, having never seen this before. He wasn’t even aware that he had a look of shock on his face until Roman called him out for it.

“What’s got you so surprised, Romeo?” Roman asked, a sly grin spreading across his face as Logan fought hard not to scowl. Both of them knew Logan despised the character for his stupidity, yet it sounded romantic enough for it not to rouse suspicions.

Logan cleared his throat after a few seconds, “I was just, not expecting such… pleasant behaviour…”

Roman laughed loudly, his head thrown back. Logan felt his cheeks flushing from embarrassment as some of the other patrons turned to look at them, which was awful for when Roman returned his gaze to him. He seemed to be giving Logan a strange, sultry look that caused Logan to feel some form of fear in his stomach. This wasn’t helped when Roman rested his head on the back of his propped-up hand and said, “I’m just getting started.”


	4. Prinxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen my kid just found you in my bed and thinks that you’re now part of the family and you just roll with it so I can’t be the one to break the news to my kid

Roman slowly roused himself from sleep but wasn’t quite ready to get up from under the warm sheets just yet. He went to turn over and relax into the pillow but found there was a strange weight on his chest. He blearily opened his eyes to find them filled with the face of a teeny young child.

“Um… hello there?”

“Hi!” The young boy grinned.

“Who are you, young one?” Roman managed to shift the child’s weight so the boy was off of his chest, allowing Roman to sit up.

“I’m Patton!” The child said happily. Suddenly, he threw his arms around Roman and hugged him, as if the child had known him his entire life.

Roman, still attempting to wake himself up, was a little lost as to what was happening. Before he could ask another question, a voice called from just outside the door.

“Patton? Where are you?”

The young child giggled and hopped off of the bed, running towards the door. With a little hop up, he was able to pull down the handle and open the door, revealing Roman’s best friend of years, Virgil, “Here I am!”

A soft smile graced the other man’s face as he bent down to pick the young boy, “It’s time for breakfast. You know that. Now, let’s go.”

“But what about him, daddy?” Patton pointed back towards Roman, which caused Virgil to look a little alarmed as if he’d forgotten he’d allowed Roman to stay the night.

Virgil seemed to be searching for an excuse and so Roman took over, “Don’t you worry about me, little one!” He managed to come up with some fantastical excuse that got the young boy to giggle. With a thankful smile, Virgil shut the door and took Patton with him.

Only around 10 minutes later did he return. Roman was sat on the edge of the mattress, now dressed, just finishing up collecting his things. Upon hearing the door click shut, Roman turned and smiled at his friend, “Thank you for allowing me to stay the night, especially on such short notice.”

“It’s whatever.” Virgil shrugged, looking a little sheepish, “Uh, I just… before you go, I need to tell you… something…”

“Of course, what is it, Virge?”

Virgil shifted on his feet nervously, his hands wringing together, “Well, you see… Patton said something to me… when I took him downstairs…”

“And what did he say?” Roman prompted gently, trying to push his anxious friend in the direction he wanted to go.

“H-he said, well more like, he asked… if, you… were… if we, y’know?” Virgil attempted to convey his message without fully saying it, as he was truly unable to speak the words he needed.

But thankfully, Roman got the gist and his eyes widened. “O-oh? So, he believes I am… with you?”

“Well, yeah… but like of course, he’s only around 6 so he doesn’t really understand, but he definitely thought you were…” Virgil said, defensively rambling. He fell quiet and was utterly lost on what to do; he should tell his son that he and Roman were not a thing, that Roman was definitely not his ‘papa’ and was not staying here ‘forever’, but how could he do that to his precious child…?

Roman smiled warmly, resting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder which had the anxious man jump slightly. With an amused tone, Roman asked, “Papa?”

Virgil’s face burned brightly as he realised he must have said it all aloud, rather than in his head. He scrambled to follow Roman out of his bedroom, “Ro-Roman, I-!” He was stopped short when he collided with his best friend.

As Virgil went to apologise for the impact, Roman shook his head with the same warm smile, “How about we pretend for a bit? Just for the kid’s sake, hm? Saves you a bit of stress.”

The thought of pretending to date Roman and lying to his only son was not exactly making any of Virgil’s stress go away, but it was better than the alternative of letting his son down. “Okay, but don’t go overboard.”

“Ah, no promises.”


	5. Logince (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s grandma’s dying wish to see you married so here I am

Logan stumbled slightly as he was guided through his apartment. For whatever reason, he’d agreed to let Patton blindfold him so he could show him an ‘important surprise’. “Please tell me you haven’t destroyed my apartment yet again…”

“Aw, c’mon Lo! We only wanted to make you a cake for your birthday! No one meant to get the batter all over the place.” Patton’s tone was still so cheery, “Anyway, we didn’t make anything in your apartment, I promise!”

“So, you still made something?” Logan asked, utterly deadpan.

“Just stand there! Don’t move!” Patton ignored his question, taking his hands away from his friend. “Aaaaaaand, you can take it off!”

Logan, with a mutter of “finally”, untied the blindfold and let it fall into his hands. His breath caught as he took in the sight in front of him.

Where his couch usually sat was a garden archway that had clearly been hand painted white with fake flowers swirling around the outside. Patton was standing to the left of the arch, while Virgil was on the right of it, both dressed in suits he didn’t know the two of them owned. Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention and Logan realised it was a camera standing on a tripod. Leading down towards the archway was a strip of similarly white fabric.

“Wh… what is this?” Logan asked, slightly lost for words.

“What does it look like, genius?” Virgil quipped.

“It… resembles a wedding. But, what on earth would this be for?”

A soft chuckle from behind him had Logan spinning on his heel. Roman was leaning against the wall, similarly dressed to their other friends. When Logan made eye contact, he pushed himself off of the wall and came to stand on the other side of the tripod, “Logan… grandmother?”

Logan’s eyes flew wide open, “I didn’t- I don’t- Why would you all-? Huh?”

“It was all Roman’s idea!” Patton chimed in, “We tried to come up with an idea all together, and we thought about a fake wedding or something, but then Roman said we should film one, so you can show it to her! He then also offered to be the one who married you, if you wanted to go through with it!”

“Are you completely serious about this…?” Logan asked in disbelief.

All three of his friends smiled at him warmly in their own ways. It was almost enough to make their usually stoic friend cry. One of the only people he’d known in his early years was his grandmother and she was the only one in his family who’d avoided disowning him after he’d come out only a year ago. And now she was very sick, living out her final days in a home for the elderly as she was mostly unable to look after herself anymore. Last time Logan had visited her, she’d expressed that she was a little upset that she’d never get to see her beloved grandson be happily married someday. It had cut him deeply and that was the first time any of his friends had seen him so emotionally compromised.

And now, here were those friends, setting up this fake wedding to help his beloved grandma’s wish come true.

“Lo! Are you okay?!” Roman stepped around to hold Logan’s shoulders, looking worried.

He hadn’t realised tears had started to slide down his cheeks until just now. Logan wiped them away quickly before giving a genuine smile, “I’m fine.”

Soon, the camera was recording and the four of them were deep into this fake wedding. Logan couldn’t quite get rid of the smile the entire time. He knew this would make his grandmother so happy, which made being ‘married’ to someone like Roman worth it in the long run.


End file.
